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The day before my wedding, my mother gave me a "surprise gift"--she told the DJ he wouldn't be needed for the ceremony because she had hired a harpist. And that I'd be going down the aisle to "Sunrise, Sunset". Yeah. My family is more Jewish than yours.
My Grandmother Alice may she rest in peace was quite a character. I used to go food shopping for her and she would count the packets of Sweet and Low, making sure all 48 were in the box. She'd make me return various pieces of produce ("This tomato is not medium," she'd say, when in all reality, compared to the choices, it truly was medium!) She'd make me return boxes of tissues because I did not get the square box, and she literally returned the purchase of a new condo, but that's a story for another day.
My mother-in-law was in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimers when I told her that my son was getting married. Her response "To the Shikse?". Same mother-in-law was getting her hair done in the nursing home, and I thought I would give the hairdresser some extra money since she took such good care of mom. Catching the action she said "You don't have to tip her, it's her place"
My family is more Jewish than yours!
My Father saves every small container of mustard from the deli. He puts them all into the same Hebrew National jar that was probably purchased in the late 70's. We use a lot of mustard, yet I have never seen any actually purchased. My family is more Jewish than yours.
My parents spent most of every lunch discussing where to eat for dinner. My Family is More Jewish Than Yours.
My Mom and Dad got married 48 years ago. ON CHRISTMAS DAY. So while all Jews go to the movies and eat Chinese food on Christmas, that's what my mom gets as an anniversary night out. My family is more Jewish than yours.
While I was very young, my grandmother promised me this chair that had been in her living room for as long as anyone could remember because I loved from my earliest memories. So many years later, after college I moved into Manhattan and I asked my her if I could have the chair to take to my very first apartment. She was a snow-bird living in Sunrise, Florida (Phase III) and was residing less and less at her Queens home. Conversation went like this: "Grandma can I take the chair?" and she replied softly, "ok". "But first she says "take me to the fruit store". A tad confused I asked why.
My father rates the country clubs in Boca based not on the golf course but the quality of their buffet. My Family is More Jewish Than Yours
My Dad friends all my facebook friends (even the ones who aren't friends). My family? More Jewish than yours!
My father's fiance converted to Judaism. At the Mikvah my 92 year old grandmother insisted on going into the water with her for support, so she didn't have to do it alone. My family is more Jewish than yours.
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Even though the whole family stayed in the same multi-room suite in a nearby hotel, my parents were so late to my sister's wedding that the 4 piece orchestra had played through its entire repertoire several times and then ended up being badly out of tune when it was finally time to play the procession music. Despite the 200 witnesses who waited in the room for over an hour, my mother still insists that they were only a few minutes late and that everybody was making a fuss over nothing. You don't get more Jewish than my parents.
My mother never throws a party without cocktail weenies (from Corky's whenever possible), and then circulates during the evening nasally proclaiming, "I don't care how fancy you are... you are never too fancy for a pig in a blankey." My family is more Jewish than yours.
My husband's grandparents were packing up their Miami apartment for the winter. We had flown down from Baltimore to take them to the airport, which is pretty Jewish in itself. But I digress. In the middle of all we have to do, Mumma tells us we have to call Rascal House and order two corned beef sandwiches. "Oy," I think. We're running late for the airport. We have to do a million things to get the apartment ready. And now we have to stop and get them corned beef sandwiches? But we do. I figure she didn't know what there was to eat at the airport and wanted to go with a sure thing.
My mother was not "cheap" but, even though we had plenty of money, after every party and family gathering my mother saved the plastic silverware. My family is more Jewish than yours.
My customer was looking for Hannukah decorations, I told her we were almost sold out but we had a few clearance items left. Her eyes got real big and she looked totally happy with the clearance. My customers are more jewish than yours!
Not only did my mother-in-law move to Boca to get away from the city, but three of her neighbors moved there also - to the same neighborhood. My family is more Jewish than yours.
My mother-in-law told my son that if he doesn't work hard, he won't get in to Harvard. He's 7. My family's more Jewish than yours.
I took my mother to the White House. She looked around and shook her head. "Unga Patchke," she called it. "Overdecorated." My family is more Jewish than yours.
At dinner, my relative called "Woody Allen" "Woody Herman" -- and still acted like an expert on his films. My family is more Jewish than yours.
